


Goodbye

by Stormchild



Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-10
Updated: 2013-09-10
Packaged: 2017-12-26 05:55:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/962404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stormchild/pseuds/Stormchild
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaldur prepares to leave for his undercover mission. But he has a hard time letting go of Roy’s body. Established Koy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Goodbye

Kaldur doesn’t want to leave. Of course he knows that going undercover was his idea. But with his arms around Roy, it’s hard to find the motivation to leave. He’s doing this for Roy, he reminds himself. He’s doing this because Roy deserves justice and closure. Kaldur wants to bring him these. But it kills him to know that he’ll have to leave him to do it.

The Atlantean presses a light kiss to the back of Roy’s sunburnt neck. Roy groans, shifts, buries his face in the pillow. He doesn’t wake up. Kaldur can’t help the smile on his lips. Roy doesn’t sleep much these days. He’s so focused on finding the original Roy - Kaldur won’t let himself think of him as the real Roy - that he forgets to take care of himself. Kaldur hates it. Who will remind Roy to eat and sleep and hold him when he’s exhausted and wipe his tears when he hates himself when Kaldur’s gone? Roy won’t listen to anyone else. He doesn’t trust anyone the way he trusts Kaldur. There are plenty of people Roy trusts with his life. But with his heart? That’s an honor limited to Kaldur. And Kaldur is about to break that trust. He’s about to take their years together as friends, as lovers, as partners, and he’s about to throw it all away. Except he isn’t. But Roy has to think he is.

Roy is strong. Kaldur knows he is. Everyone knows he is. After everything he’s been through, Roy is still standing, still fighting, still trying to do what’s right. And Kaldur knows it hasn’t been easy. Roy has never been the type to give up, but he knows that Roy has moments when he wants to. Will anyone try to push him through those moments when Kaldur isn’t around? Even if they wanted to, Kaldur doubted that Roy would let them see him in a moment of weakness. 

In a surge of jealousy, Kaldur almost hopes that Roy doesn’t find anyone. He doesn’t want anyone else to see those lazy smiles first thing in the morning when Roy’s hair is still messy. He doesn’t want anyone else to feel Roy’s arms around them. He doesn’t want anyone else to be bestowed with the honor of having Roy’s lips on their body. He doesn’t want anyone else to know Roy’s secrets the way he does. Most of all, he doesn’t want to leave. He wishes so badly that he doesn’t have to. But they don’t have any other options. This opportunity to infiltrate the Light is to good to give up.

"You will understand, won’t you?" Kaldur whispers, though he knows - hopes - that Roy can’t hear him. "I am doing this for you. I will bring you justice, my love."

Kaldur kisses the back of Roy’s hair, inhaling the scent of the expensive shampoo he won’t let anyone touch. He knows he’s going to miss this smell. He thinks, this could be what he’ll miss the most besides Roy’s rare smiles. His squeezes his eyes shut against the tears. He imagines that he can still see the glowing red numbers on the clock. His breath is shaky. He can’t leave yet, it’s too soon. Oh, he knows he has to leave before Roy wakes up. But Roy doesn’t wake up early like Kaldur does. Kaldur hasn’t slept yet. He couldn’t bring himself to miss even a moment with Roy. 

The clock reads 4:00. Kaldur knows he has to leave now. He has to meet with Nightwing. He’s already stayed too long. Reluctantly untangling his legs from Roy’s, Kaldur slides out of bed. He pulls the sheets up around Roy to make up for the loss of warmth. His blurry vision makes it more difficult than it should be to locate and pull on his clothes. His fingers find the shirt that Roy had been wearing earlier in the dark. Burying his face in the fabric, he lets his tears fall. He wonders if Roy would notice if he takes it with him. He doubts it.

Kaldur needs this. He knows he can’t take it with him undercover - it’s obviously not his size - but he can’t let go of Roy just yet. Even if all he holds onto is one of his shirts. His last kiss to Roy is on his temple. He lingers longer than he should. He pulls back before any of the moisture from his eyes makes it into Roy’s hair. He spares only a second-long backwards glance before leaving. He can’t say goodbye to Roy. He knows Roy will fight him. And Kaldur knows that if Roy asks him to stay, he won’t be able to say no. 

Nightwing is already waiting for him in Kaldur’s apartment. They only exchange a few words.

"Are you sure about this?"

"Yes. We may never have another chance like this one."

"I know."

Kaldur pressed Roy’s shirt to his chest once before putting it aside over the arm of the couch.

"Kal… We can find another way. This is too dangerous."

"I have to do this. We cannot allow them to harm more people."

Dick sighs. He knows that Kaldur is thinking of Roy. Dick doesn’t blame him. He can’t imagine what Kaldur is feeling. The Atlantean’s face gives nothing but tiredness away.

"You will watch over him, yes?"

"Of course. I’ll do everything I can for him."

Kaldur gives a slow nod. Keeping his expression neutral so as not to give away his heartbreak is nearly impossible. 

"Did you…"

"He is not aware of our plan. He may have noticed my absence, but I doubt it. This is the first night he has slept in some time."

It’s Dick’s turn to nod. The air is thick with tension. Kaldur wants to go back to Roy, to crawl back into bed with him and hold him until Roy decides he needs coffee. But he can’t.

Saying goodbye to Dick is painful. But not nearly as painful as leaving Roy is.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me at mechanicalpoet.tumblr.com.


End file.
